This post is the first in a series I will be uploading on – So You Want to be a Business Analyst?
If you ask any young child what they want to be when they grow up, odds are boys will answer with a resounding Pro Athlete or Firefighter; and these days, little girls want to be Doctors and Teachers.
I challenge you to find a child that declares to their parents “when I grow up I want to be a Business Analyst”.
Not even my own children, the traitors, want to follow me into this profession.
Why is this so?
Well, unlike the more common career paths such as nurses, salesmen, bank tellers, programmers, rodent exterminators and musicians, no one actually knows what Business Analysts do. Over the years, I’ve discovered it’s a conversation killer. Many a time I’ve been at one party or another and started chatting to a stranger I’d just met. You can guarantee within ten minutes the inevitable — ‘and what do you do for a living?’ is asked.
In my younger days, before I became the jaded and cynical person I am now, I would answer truthfully.
The response to this was always the same, no matter the country I happened to be in at the time. It was then I discovered the one thing that is common across all nationalities, religions, sexual preferences and race – the blank stare. Yes, that’s right. I would get the stunned mullet blank stare as they struggled to work out what I did. After all, the way I said it sounded like it was a real job. This was quickly followed by a recovery and they would nod and say ‘Oh, you look at business and work out their finances?”
Cue the face palm.
These days when asked, I just respond with, “Firefighter.” Which, when you think about it, is exactly what I do.
I have been a business analyst for a large portion of my career. In fact, I started before it was an actual career path. In the good old days of legacy systems, before they were considered legacy, we all worked on mainframe terminal computers. For those of you too young to remember, this was after the abacus, before Microsoft ruled the world and waaaayyyy before the mobile phone.
This was the days of green screens (or black just for variety), where you needed to memorise thousands of codes just to be able to add a single record to the database.
Mice were those little rodents that ate cheese, and you had to have a very large lap to rest 14 kg’s (28 lbs) worth of laptop computer.
And don’t get me started on the office buildings with floors that you had to swim through a sea of smoke just to get to your cubical each morning. This was when everyone filled their lungs with nicotine at work; parachute pants were all the rage; the cool kids walked around with cell phones with batteries bigger than a suitcase; and we had to turn sideways to get through doors because our padded shoulders wouldn’t fit.
Coming from a non-smoking household, it was a culture shock to come to work each day where the majority of people smoked like chimneys at their desks. Needless to say, I would go home each night with my clothes reeking of tobacco. One of my earliest memories of my induction into a working environment, that has stuck with me all these years later, is the combination of smoking and hair fashion at the time. Now, I can already see some of you cringing at the memory. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Women (and a fair few men) used around two cans of hairspray each morning to get the right teased and most unnatural look they could possibly achieve while still remaining upright. It still escapes me how many of my colleagues could light a cigarette and not have their hair spontaneously combust.
Now, when I started my career, I had no idea what the world had in store for me. Coming from a family that worked the land, and worked it hard, I was determined that my working life would be in an office. My days of driving tractors, planting, picking & packing fruit and vegetables was over. I wasn’t afraid of hard work; it just was going to be in an air-conditioned office rather than physical labour.
I started out in the insurance industry and worked for one the largest in the country. Okay, let’s face it, I worked for the biggest.
Things were going well, I was going to be the youngest female General Manager the company had ever seen, this would be promptly followed by Prime Minister, and then I’d take over the world just for laughs. Oh, and along the way I would win the lottery and broker world peace while solving world hunger and become BFFs with Madonna.
This all changed one fateful day when I was called into my manager’s office and informed I was being transferred to a ‘Special Projects’ team.
Turns out this ‘Special Projects’ team was me and a bunch of KPMG consultants. They’d thrown me to the lions. My reward – a brand new title that none of us had ever heard before – Business Analyst Professional; which always amuses me. This implies that there is an amateur version of the role.
The Birth of the Business Analyst role as a Career
So why did a new profession suddenly materialize in the midst of all this chaos and hair product?
Up until the 1980’s, computer systems were used primarily by the government, universities and big business. Why? Because it cost a fortune and they were understandably the only ones that could afford it. To put it into perspective, let’s have a look at some comparisons between 1980 and 2015 with regards to hard disk sizes and cost of storage.
Whoops! The 1980’s figure doesn’t even rate. Let’s change to a logarithmic scale.
So, in 1980, the average hard drive could store one three-minute audio track; and, if you wanted to store all the songs that you would typically have on your iPhone today, it would have cost you $300,000. This is not a typo; you are reading the value correctly – $300,000. I can just see Dr. Evil holding up his pinkie finger as he announces the amount.
In addition to price, data was problematic to get to; and it was difficult to write the programs to access the data in these one-directional flat files. To make matters worse, around that time there was very little functionality built into mainframe systems which was presented to the user in a choice of green, green or green.
By the late 80s and early 90s this all started to change. Some bright spark came up with the relational database, and object orientated programs such as Java and C++ were being introduced. The cost of storage began to plummet. And most importantly to those who had had enough of green screens, graphical user interfaces became the rage. As a direct result, the information technology age came into its own. Big businesses wanted to improve their processes and increase profits; and computers were going to help them do it. However, much to their horror, it actually started costing them more. Why? Well, that’s the exact question they asked too.
The amount they were spending on software development; scope changes to meet the ever changing business needs; not to mention the increased maintenance costs and cost of software defects was ringing some major warning bells. The IT budgets were haemorrhaging and things needed to change before they went out of businesses with the spiralling costs. So where was the primary source of cost overruns and why? It turned out-surprise, surprise-that the software development teams were talking directly to the business users. That’s like having a gansta elicit requirements from an elderly person who thinks the web is something a spider clings to. I can just imagine the conversation:
Gansta: Yoh, whadup dude. How they hanging?
Senior Citizen: Sorry son, can you speak up I can’t hear you.
Gansta: What the fuck businizz problem r’ yo’ tryin’ ta solve?
Senior Citizen: *taps hearing aid* Is this thing working?
Gansta: What the goddamn ideas do yo’ n’ yo’ goddamn teammates rap ’bout as ways ta improve tha process?
Senior Citizen: Is it teatime yet?
Gansta: Where the fuck would da usa access dis feature?
Senior Citizen: *Raises voice & speaks slowly* DO YOU SPEAKA DA ENGLISH?
As you can imagine neither party understood a word the other was saying. The bottom line was the business users could not articulate their requirements in a language that could be understood by the development teams. And conversely, the programmers had no frame of reference to understand the underlying business needs. They had no experience in actually using the systems in a day to day environment. Now don’t get me wrong, there were System Analysts who managed to do a great job; but they were in the minority.
Q: So how did they solve this divide?
A: Find someone who can bridge the gap between the two; and so, the role of the business analyst was born.
The key word in this new role was ‘business’. While, up until that time, the traditional role of Systems Analyst performed some of the business requirements elicitation as part of their role, their primary focus was design and development.
As with my case, and many Business Analysts I know, key individuals were brought in from the business and worked directly with these external teams to become the business champion and liaise with the development teams which, at the time, were primarily external organisations. We very quickly needed to learn to speak geek.
next up… So What Do BA’s Actually Do??
The doors opened, and two bedraggled wet tourists rushed into the pub. Despite their resemblance to a pair of drowned rats, they were in high spirits as they called out for, “Two pints of your best larger and a pack ‘o crisps.”
How the publican heard their order above the blare from the footy on the TV, or the chaos from the crowded county inn, was anyone’s guess.
“Eh up! Another lot that I reckon needs a visit to the nut house.”
Robert threw his partner a cold stare. The kid they shackled him with was not only loud, he was xenophobic, homophobic, dysmorphophobic—and any other number of phobic’s that solidified him as a first-class twat. It was beyond him how Damien had been recruited into MI5. However, the agency had changed over the years, perhaps Britain had run out of people with brain cells to recruit.
“This is the Lake District,” said Robert, “tourists come here to walk through the hills and valleys. They expect the occasional downpour.”
Damien chugged back the last of his ale and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Igits! Why would they pay that much dosh to walk? You can do that at home… for free.”
Instead of killing his partner in any of the two dozen ways he knew to leave no trace, Robert fingered his watch and made contact with the silver triskele medallion fused to the back. Whenever his mind was in turmoil he used the triskele as an anchor. Not only did this mission not sit well with him, but he’d been saddled with a cocky agent who wanted to make his mark—anyway he could.
Maybe it’s time to think of a new career?
Damien threw himself back into his chair and glanced at the clock above the bar. “Are you sure she’ll turn up?”
Robert’s jaw tightened. “Have patience.”
“I have patience old man; I just don’t think your intel’s right. We should’ve done the job at her place.”
Robert leaned forward and placed his arms on his knees so that his hands were draped in the middle. “You know as well as I do, the house has surveillance everywhere. Whenever she comes up, she always calls in for a pub meal before heading back to London. She’s about to head through the most dangerous road in the UK, this is the perfect opportunity.”
“I just hope you’re right.” Damien reached for his empty glass and made a motion to stand. “The guvna will be pissed if she turns up at that hearing tomorrow. She’s a traitor to the crown and deserves what’s coming to her.”
Robert was thankful for the temporary reprieve when his partner headed to the bar for a refill. This was Damien’s second sanctioned assassination, and his… he’d lost count. Robert had carried out his fair share of targeted ops over the years. However, this one felt different. While the evidence against her was compelling, it was in direct contrast to the background information he’d unearthed.
“That rain hasn’t let up. I think that could work for us.” Damien set an ale down in front of him.
Robert’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t ask for another.”
“I know, but it’s your birthday. My shout.” Damien raised his glass. “Cheers, old man.”
“You do realise I’m only in my early forties?”
Damien shrugged. “Yep, but in spook years that’s like one hundred.”
You’re not half wrong.
Robert took a sip. It wouldn’t do to be half inebriated when their target turned up.
Twenty. Robert sighed. How did two decades go by that fast?
While the sixth of September wasn’t listed on his birth certificate, it was the day used for each undercover false identity. Over the years, it had stuck, and he’d never bothered to set them straight.
For Robert, the date was sacred. It was the day a stranger had given him the strength to live.
“Crikey… get a load of the jugs on that one,” said Damien.
“Keep your voice down,” Robert hissed as he glanced around. “We are supposed to keep a low profile; not having you attacked for inappropriate behaviour.”
After he was sure no one had paid attention to them, he reached for his beer and took a long drink. A stranger may have given him life, but this imbecile was going to put him in his grave.
A short while later Damien stiffened. “Heads up. Showtime.”
Robert flicked his eyes towards the door. Sure enough, there she was. Jennifer Martin—Jenni to her friends–barrister to alleged terrorists.
As she crossed the room, he was fascinated by her chestnut brown hair which fell in soft waves and lightly touched her shoulders. A far cry from her usual dark suit and severe bun. In this light, she looked more like a football mum than a high-priced member of the legal profession.
Damien reached for his beer, finished the glass and thumped it down with a bump and a loud burp. He rubbed his hands together. “Right you are. I’ll text you when I’m done.”
After Robert watched his partner make his way out the door with an eager bounce to his stride, he saw an opportunity and rose from his seat. Quickly manoeuvring himself to the bar he ordered a coke and asked for a menu.
“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
Robert swung his head around to discover a set of dark brown eyes peering over the menu she had hidden behind. “Pardon?”
“You looked like you were wrestling with the woes of the world.”
He smiled wryly. That’s one way of putting it.
Robert pointed to the menu. “I couldn’t work out what to order. Can you recommend anything?”
Jenni’s face softened and her lips curled into a warm smile. “Most of it’s tasty. Just keep away from the fish. Cook buggers it up—without exception.”
Robert glanced down to his copy and frowned. That only left a Beef and Stilton pie or a Tofu Salad.
Tofu Salad? The country’s going to hell in a hand basket!
The bartender took Jenni’s order. As she handed the menu back, her bracelet caught his eye—or rather, one of the charms had him riveted, unable to turn away. After an initial heart palpitation, he dismissed the familiar trinket as a figment of his imagination, pulled out a twenty pound note and ordered the pie.
“Good choice,” remarked Jenni once he had been given change.
Robert grinned. “Well, if it’s not, I’ll know who to blame.”
It took all his self-control not to take another look at her bracelet. It’s not the same one. It can’t be.
“Are you a local or just passing through?” he asked.
“I grew up around here. I’ve a place nearby and come up from London every now and then to get away from it all. What about you?”
He shrugged. “Just passing through.”
Jenni tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and his eye was once again polarised to the bracelet. In full view was a small silver triskele medallion. The exact replica of his.
Impossible. There were only three ever made.
Robert cleared his throat and hoped his voice didn’t falter. “That’s an interesting charm. It’s Celtic, isn’t it?”
She smiled and glanced at it. “That’s right, it’s a triskele.”
“It looks like an original.”
The smile she’d worn lost some of its shine. “It is. I made it a lifetime ago.” She fingered the triskele and looked like she was a thousand miles away. “Actually, I made three of them.”
Robert felt as if the world had just tilted on its axis and he was slipping over the edge.
A moment later, two plates were shoved towards them. “Serviettes and cutlery over on the sideboard,” said the publican pointing to their left.
Jenni reached for her order. “Thanks, Bruce.”
“No problems, Luv. A little birdie tells me it’s your birthday.”
Birthday! Robert broke out in a cold sweat.
Jennie sighed and rolled her eyes. “Ruby blabbered, did she?”
Bruce grinned crookedly and winked. Just then, a customer shouted from the other side of the bar and he smiled apologetically. “Gotta go, Luv. Mind yourself and be careful on the drive.”
“Will do.” She picked up her plate and scanned the area. From the way in which Jenni reached for her lemonade, she’d found a free table. She took a step before half turning to face him. “If you’re alone, you’re welcome to join me. The place is full, and the bar’s not exactly the nicest place to eat a meal.”
Robert tensed. This was against regulations. There was no way he should have any contact with a mark, let alone share a meal with her. His brain may have been fully behind the decision, but his feet were another matter entirely.
Once they sat, Jenni eyed up her plate. “I’m famished.”
Curious, Robert moved the conversation back to the triskele. There had to be a reasonable explanation. “You were telling me about the medallion.”
She looked up in surprise. “I was?”
“You made three of them?”
Jenni nodded and reached for her lemonade. “You know, the triskele harks back to ancient times and has been used in Celtic art for three thousand years.
“Why a triskele?”
Her face turned serious and the light in her eyes dimmed. “I lost my mum to cancer my last year at school. She died twenty years ago last January.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.” Jenni rubbed the triskele between her fingers. “For the first few months after she passed I was a mess.
Her gazed dropped to the medallion. “My metal works teacher was a lovely old soul.” She laughed as if she’d just told a joke. “Actually, back then I thought he was a right plonker. But he kept on about the magic of the triskele. Somehow I became obsessed. I wanted to make something that would remind me of my mother. In the end, I had enough material to make three.”
A watery sheen clouded her eyes. “They took all the good people that year. My mum, Princess Di, Mother Theresa. You know, today’s the anniversary of Princess Diana’s funeral?”
Even though he’d never admit it, he did—in vivid detail.
“When she died in that car accident I was devastated. It triggered the loss of my mum all over again and I spent the entire day at the cemetry. Before I left, I buried one of the triskele’s I’d made by her gravestone. That way, we would always be connected through the one I’d kept for myself.” Jenni paused and took a breath. She blinked rapidly and focused on her plate. “When they announced that Princess Di’s funeral was on the same day as my birthday, I knew it was a sign. The third was for her.”
“What happened then?”
“We heard the news Mother Theresa had died.” Jenni sighed and leaned back in her chair. “The three strongest women I knew were gone. Each one of them wanted to make the world a better place—they did in their own way. After that year, the world was a little sadder, and I don’t think we ever got over it.”
“So did you leave the third triskele at the palace gates?”
“No. I made a promise that night to try and live up to their legacy and help those not as fortunate. That’s why I got into the profession I’m in. Instead, I wrote a letter and gifted the triskele to a stranger. I knew that mum, Di, and Theresa would guide it to the person that needed it the most.”
Robert’s chest began to thump. “And did you keep that promise?”
Her expression grew grim and her lips compacted into a thin line. “That depends on who you listen to. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years is that the truth differs depending on who’s in power.” Jenni pushed her empty plate forward. “But to answer your question, I’d like to think I’ve made my mother proud.”
Robert’s phone beeped and he glanced at the screen.
Jenni’s doomsday clock had moved closer to midnight. For the remainder of the meal Robert was so distracted he’d only taken in every fifth word of the conversation.
Once they were done, Jenni pushed back her chair. “It was lovely chatting to you, but I’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of me.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to interrogate you like that.”
She smiled and waved it off as she stood. “No bother. It was nice to talk to someone about something other than work.” Jenni slipped her bag over her shoulder and extended a hand towards him. “I’m Jennifer by the way, and thank you for sharing a birthday dinner with me.”
He took the offered hand. It felt tiny within his as they shook. Instead of letting go, he held it a moment longer. “Robert, and you are welcome.”
She raised her chin, and the corners of her chocolate brown eyes crinkled as a warm smile beamed up at him. With reluctance, he let her hand go.
There was an awkward silence before Jenni readjusted her bag and her eyes darted away as if nervous. “Um… yes… well… better get a move on. Cheerio.”
Robert watched as she walked away. Each step she took was one step closer to her fate. Not for the first time today, he questioned his superior’s motives. There were too many unanswered questions: Why did they not want her to appear in court tomorrow? Why did they balk when they’d discovered she’d scheduled a press conference?
The big screen caught his eye. Images of Prince William and Harry as children walking behind their mother’s coffin, flashed across the screen.
Robert’s throat tightened, and a bead of sweat broke out across his forehead. He was twenty-two again. The familiar feeling of helplessness washed over him. After a lifetime of absence, it rose in all its glory nearly crippling him in the process.
It was a coward’s way out—he knew it then, and was all too aware of it now. Too young and too stupid to think there was any alternative, drugs and alcohol were his weapons of choice. He intended to drink himself into oblivion and down a bottle of sleeping tablets to finish the job.
He’d rifled through his flatmates’ rooms and stole enough money to spend his last night at a decent hotel. Unfortunately, having the money for a room was one thing, being able to find an available one was a different story altogether. Robert hadn’t believed his luck when he found a room at a small hotel near Piccadilly Circus.
By the time he discovered the letter, he’d already finished half a bottle of the cheapest whiskey he could find.
6th September 1997
Today is my birthday. This year we lost my mother. Last week we lost charity. Last night we lost faith. But today I cling to hope.
I have spent the better part of this year angry. Angry at my mother for dying; angry at the world for not finding a cure for her cancer; angry at myself for being angry.
Today this ends.
Anger is not going to bring my mother back, nor will it return Princess Di or Mother Therese. I have no doubt that they have a special place in heaven alongside my mum. They stand side by side with all those who have given far more than they took.
We get so caught up in our own grief we fail to understand that others are suffering as much, if not more, than us. As I look out on the faces of the people passing by, I can hear their hearts breaking. For too long have I wallowed in my own grief and self-pity. I’ve been standing on the outside looking in. A spectator. Too quick to criticise, too quick to judge, too quick to anger.
The world is spiralling downward into oblivion because of spectators like me. My plea to you, dear stranger, do not be a spectator. Make what you do count.
You will find a silver medallion in the envelope along with this letter. When I made them, I had no idea what the triskele truly signified. One rests in the earth with my mum, another will be my constant reminder of her and my link to all that she was, and all she represented. It is people like her whose shoulders we now stand upon.
The third was to be Princess Di’s. I planned to leave it with the rest of the offerings at Buckingham Palace, in hope it would make its way to her final resting place. Instead, it is my gift to you.
Know that you are not alone. Even in your darkest days goodness can be found. We just need to look a little harder. All is not lost. We have faltered but will recover and see the sun rise on another day.
It is only now I understand the true meaning of the triskele.
Past, Present, Future.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
Earth, Wind, Sky.
They all are strands of the threads that bind us. We need faith to guide us in our choices, charity to protect the weak, and hope to give us the will to carry on and leave this world a better place than we found it. None can exist without the other, and they bring balance to the universe.
My hope for you is that your life is filled with joy and love. May the triskele always remind you to not be a spectator. Make a difference.
The letter had resonated something in Robert’s half intoxicated, suicidal self. That day he chose life. He walked away from the depths of hell he had been born into, and enlisted in the armed forces. They educated him and gave him a purpose. While her majesty’s service had his gratitude, he owed Jenni his life.
But she’s a traitor! His rational self cried out in horror.
Are you sure about that?
Robert raked a hand through his hair. Right now, he wasn’t sure about anything. If he let her get in the car, her life was forfeit. Could he live with knowing that the very person who changed his life, and brought him back from the edge, was dead by his hands?
He glanced across the room. By now, Jenni had reached the exit after having stopped to chat. The moment her hand reached out for the door, Robert knew what he had to do—no matter the outcome.
Before she managed to fully open the door, Robert was across the room. He reached out, placed his hand over hers and pushed it closed. Her sudden yelp at his unexpected appearance turned a few customer’s heads.
“Do you know if there’s a back entrance to this place?” he asked with urgency. “We need to get out of here.”
Jenni’s surprise was mixed with confusion. “I think so. Why?”
Robert searched her face for any sign of deception. As he pulled his hand away from the door handle, the familiar grooves of his triskele brushed the back of his wrist. Words from the letter swam into his vision, and he briefly shut his eyes. When he opened them again, he met Jenni’s gaze.
“Because nothing is coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.”
Me: Mikeaela, firstly, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule. It’s very much appreciated. I had Jessica Woodcock recently contact me suggesting I interview you in my Author Spotlight series, she is a huge fan of yours and is really enjoying Expiration. Having started to read it, I can see why.
Mikeaela: I’m so honored that you asked me! Also thank you, Jessica, for giving me that shout out and thanks for reading Expiration Date! Okay, I’ll try to stop with the exclamation points.
Who is Mikaela Bender? – Tell us a little about yourself.
I’m a senior in high school who has been homeschooled my whole life. I haven’t been writing for too long. I started when I was fourteen, so I absolutely give God all the credit for any blessing that happens to me with writing. I’ve always been the shy girl, the quiet one, the one who speaks up only every so often. That is until you get to know me and then I won’t shut up. What I love about Wattpad is that on there, I’m not the shy, introverted girl I’ve always been. I can be bolder and braver, and having readers gives me the confidence that people want to hear what I have to say.
How long have you been writing and what motivates you to write?
Well like I said, I was fourteen. A few months before I started writing I had to write a short story for school, but I don’t consider that to be when I started. I started when the motivation for me to write was me wanting to. Somehow I got it in my head that the first thing I wanted to write was a novel. But, hey, I did it and I was hooked.
What motivates me is writing scenes that I have been planning for a long time. It may still be four chapters before that next part I’ve been dying to write, but it’s there and I just have to keep typing. Also my readers on Wattpad. Knowing there are people who want to read the next chapter is what encourages me to write a new chapter each week
What is it about the Science Fiction genre that fascinates you the most? Where do you get your inspiration?
I think it’s the possibilities. With fantasy it can be hard when trying to establish rules for magic and being sure to follow social customs for the time period you’re writing about. With science fiction, you don’t have to be a scientist to write it. You can make the laws of science, you can bend them and break them, and all because of that word fiction. I also love reading young adult alien stories. My favorite is the Cage by Megan Shepherd. As far as motivation, I draw it from other books, movies, TV shows, and they don’t specifically have to be science fiction.
Expiration Date, a Wattpad featured novel and sitting at #2 in Science Fiction, has a very chilling premise — that we know from the day we are born when we are going to die. Where did the idea for the story come from?
I really wanted to write a story on Wattpad. I also wanted to get my best friend to write. So we looked up prompts on one of my boards on Pinterest and found a prompt close to what you wrote the premise as. My friend said that was her favorite. So I asked her questions like how old the character should be and if she liked this name or that. A few minutes later, I started writing and would ask her what she thought. My goal in her writing it too never happened though. I never thought that a year and a half later I would have put so much of me into Expiration Date. I had no idea where I was going to go with that prompt.
Prompts are interesting because they’re usually one sentence, but every person takes a story on a different path. And the path I’ve been on with it has been a blast to write. I never expected to feel so connected with each of the characters. I don’t want the story to end because I don’t want to say goodbye to them.
What long term plans do you have for Expiration Date? Should we expect to see it on bookstore shelves in the future?
I may or may not have plans for more books in the series. Expiration Date is combined with its sequel Expired as a duology on Wattpad. They can be found in the same book on the website. The stories are so entwined that they’re more like one big book. I had to split them up though if I was ever going to publish them. That said, I do hope to publish them one day. My goal would be to traditionally publish them. If that does happen, I would love to be able to leave them up on Wattpad in their unpublished versions.
Currently, you have two other stories you are posting to Wattpad – Insurrection & My Best Friend’s Werewolf. Do you find it difficult to write multiple stories at once? How do you prepare yourself to focus on an individual story at any given time, considering ideas for your other stories would be clamouring to get out?
Oh my goodness, yes! It’s difficult! I had made a promise to myself not to start another novel until I finished the first draft of my current project. But after I reached the end of the first draft for Expiration Date and before I started the sequel, I really wanted to write more on Wattpad. So I continued a short story that I had posted, Insurrection, and around the same time I started a werewolf book, My Best Friend’s Werewolf, because I was eager to write one. I then started the sequel to Expired and that became my main focus, because I had the most readers on it. The hardest thing about writing multiple books is time. To prepare myself to focus on a story, I like to think and to partly act out the scene before writing it so I feel pumped to express it on the page (or my iPhone).
Do you have any strange writing habits (like having to wear a particular outfit when writing or circling your desk three times before sitting down to write)?
I don’t have any strange writing habits before starting to write, which is a real blessing because if I did, my OCD would get out of control and I would probably never get around to writing. I do have a habit while writing though. It’s not a full-fledged habit, but when I’m tired I’ll start writing about sleep and how good it sounds to my characters. That’s when I realize I need to go to bed.
Do you think that writing on a platform such as Wattpad has helped you grow as a writer?
I’ve been told that writing online won’t allow me to grow as a writer, but it has. It’s given me confidence in my writing. Since starting to write on Wattpad, I haven’t had as much time to read the books on my bookshelf which I regret, because every time I read a published and polished book, my writing improves so much. Ever since I started writing, I was always worried that my age would inhibit me from being accepted as a writer, and that my writing wouldn’t matter. But with Wattpad, people don’t see my age. They simply judge me based on my writing. I can see the difference and growth between the first chapters of Expiration Date and the latest chapters of Expired. Though now that I’ve rewritten the first twenty-eight chapters, I’ve really seen how I’ve grown. Reaching one thousand words for a chapter used to be extremely rare, now it’s not passing one thousand words that’s rare.
Wattpad also has given me a following which will really help if I ever publish.
What advice do you have for other aspiring authors?
This is mainly for Wattpad; not everyone is going to like what you decide to do with your story, but what you have to remember is that unless you’re being paid, you are writing for yourself and are choosing to share your story. I’m not saying don’t listen to constructive criticism, but remember to stay true to your story.
I know you have probably heard to write every single day. I’m going to tell you not to. Let me explain. Write every day that you want to and even if it’s only a tiny bit. But if there’s a day that you really do not want to write, don’t. Don’t kill the joy of writing by making it a chore.
Now, apart from creating the term Authorgirling, is there any other interesting fact we might not know about you?
You made me laugh. I actually want to be a publisher. I want to go to work every day surrounded by stories. I want to help tell those stories. This is kind of random (I had to dig down deep). I was an extra in the movie Letters to God, so I had the chance to spend time on movie sets. That’s the extent of my interestingness.
Thank you again for having me! To everyone reading, I hope you found something in here that speaks to you. If you haven’t been on Wattpad, give it a look.
Kristin Jacques is a Wattpad Featured author, a Wattys winner and soon to be published author with her novel ‘Zombies Vs Aliens’. Firstly, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with us today.
Who is Kristin Jacques ? – Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a thirty year old mother of two who has aspired to be an author for many years. There have been many dirty jobs in the interim, from stall mucker to dry cleaner. I have hermit tendencies, am a huge gaming and comic nerd, and I have a not so secret book addiction. Our closets are full of stacks of books… The kindle helps me hide it better. Sometimes my hair is blue.
How long have you been writing and what motivates you to write?
I have been penning stories forever. I used to dictate stories to my mother, which she would type up and give to me to illustrate. I still have one kicking around of my superhero dog stopping the lily pad thieves. I was his sidekick. Motivation? Writing isn’t just therapeutic. If I don’t write at all over a week I feel twitchy. There is a passion for story telling, but I would continue to write in some form no matter what.
Congratulations on the upcoming release of Zombies vs Aliens! Can you tell us a little about your particular path to publishing? What’s been the best and worst parts of the process?
The worst feeling is the rejection slips, though some are helpful. The best feeling is after they’ve read your sample and ask for the rest. There was a lot of research about the type of press I wanted to query. I hoped to find someone who would allow me to keep Z vs A on wattpad in some form, even if I had to temporarily take it down. In the end, I felt more comfortable with the structure of smaller publishing houses. They have a different author/publisher relationship and timeline than larger houses. There are pros and cons to both, but in the end I went with a budding small press.
What is it about the Science Fiction/Fantasy genre that fascinates you the most?
The ‘what if’ scenario of speculative fiction has always been the biggest draw of the genre. In storytelling and reading tastes, I often veer towards the fantastic intruding on the everyday setting or normal people being thrust into fantastical situations. There is something about dropping the average Joe/Jane in Narnia and watching them freak out that will never cease to entertain me. There is also an endless well of possibilities and angles in fantasy and sci fi.
Marrow Charm, a 2015 Watty’s Winner, takes a pivotal moment in our history and adds a KrazyDiamond twist to give us an alternate timeline. Where did you get the inspiration for the story?
While some of the monsters and imagery come straight out of my noggin and nightmares, there is a comic book influence to the alternate history aspect. The idea of Nazis messing with occult magic is not a new one, I wanted to tinker with the idea of what happened if no one stopped them. If they opened the door and no one closed it.
What is the most challenging part of the writing process for you and how do you overcome it?
For me the most challenging aspect is making it to the finish line of a first draft. I have an absurd amount of unfinished works, many of them over halfway done. I start to poke at earlier chapters, I start to doubt the worth of the story as a whole. I start to second guess everything that went into it. I have to put blinders on and keep plowing ahead or I get caught up in my own self doubt.
Do you think that writing on a platform such as Wattpad has helped you grow as a writer?
This is a big fat yes. Without the initial pushes and comments from readers on Wattpad, I would never have finished Zombies vs Aliens. I was working on the book for nearly two years before posting it on the site. It had shifted from straight horror, to dark humor, but I had no confidence in its draw for an audience. This was before it took off, when I had a handful of other writers and readers on the site who reached out and encouraged me to keep going. For a struggling artist, it really only takes that handful of people backing you to keep you going. Aside from the incredible community, I have learned a lot about the writing process and business as a whole from interacting with other writers on the site.
What advice do you have for other aspiring authors?
In the immortal words of Jason Nesmith: “Never give up, never surrender.” Seriously though, the worst thing you can do to yourself as a writer is give up. I shot myself in the foot for years before I found a way to keep going. If self doubt is the weight that keeps you down, find a community that bolsters you up. This is a very lonely profession, but it doesn’t mean you can’t reach out for support.
What is your most memorable moment on Wattpad?
Back in ye old November, I remember being at work and getting an email notification of people posting ‘congrats’ on my wall. I had no idea what was going on so I peeked on the computer and found out I received a Watty. I quietly retreated to the back room so I could squeal like a teenage girl flipping out in my head.
What books have most influenced your life most?
Some of the biggest influences include Tamora Pierce and Diana Wynne Jones. These two ladies wrote some of the strongest female protagonists I’ve ever read, especially for a teenage audience. Lovely, flawed, heroines I aspire to create. Sophie from Jones’s Howl’s Moving Castle was a personal favorite, as well as Alanna from Pierce’s Song of the Lioness Quartet.
Now, apart from being an amazing and prolific writer, is there any other interesting fact we might not know about you?
I know a little bit of several languages but am fluent in none. I have a collection of fake mustaches. This is rivaled by my collection of silly hats.
Who is Ana Simons? – Tell us a little about yourself.
Ana is the mother of the most awesome twins in the world (Do I sound biased saying this?) The girl keeps claiming she’s older than he is, the boy says he just let her go first, because he’s a gentleman and someone had to hold the door open. They’re turning 13 this month and I’ve the feeling time few by.
Ana is also married to a guy who has more faith in her writing skills than she has. They’ve known each other since they were 12, certainly because her best friend had huge a crush on him, on the coolest hockey player in the 7th grade. But they only started dating many, many years after that.
She lives in southern Europe, in a quiet and friendly town, blessed with a lot of sun, sandy beaches and the bluest ocean. She loves football/soccer. She suffers a lot when her national team plays and goes wild when her kid throws a ball into the net.
Ana studied English and German Studies at the university where she now works as a teacher.
What draws you to writing in ChickLit/Romance?
Yes, I do tend to gravitate to this genre, but only to books with some depth, with some truth about the way we’re living our lives. That means I have a clear preference for more realistic settings and everyday characters with whom I can relate. I like when I can see parts of myself in the fictional lives of the characters, when I can observe their behaviour in certain situations, how they interact with each other within the several social groups they belong to, how they respond to societal norms or trends… I particularly enjoy when there’s a pinch of irony mixed with humour as a strategy to portray the society we’re living in. And a dash of romance, of course, always makes it so much more fun. Just like in real life.
The Iceberg Theory is an emotional rollercoaster. As a reader, you ride the highs and lows with the characters. What inspired you to write The Iceberg Theory?
Thank you, I’m glad I was able to make you feel that way, to have you involved and feeling the emotions of the characters.
Well, I was inspired by some real life events I either experienced or observed, by stories I’ve heard, by ideas and concepts that make me wonder or intrigue me. Then I added a completely fictional love story I would fancy reading myself to the mix and weaved it all together.
Is there a message in The Iceberg Theory that you want readers to grasp?
This theory has been used in different fields, namely in psychology by Freud, anthropology and culture studies by Edward T. Hall, even in literature by Hemingway. Here, it suggests that our perceptions rarely correspond to the whole truth, because it’s part of our human nature to hide much more than we allow the others to see. The iceberg analogy, the fact that there’s much more underneath the surface than we actually observe floating on the ocean, underlies the love story between the two main characters, who actually want to go down there and know the other at deeper levels. And it can also be applied the story itself, because readers are not reading what they think they’re reading; the true meaning of it all is hidden in the last chapters of the book…
The Iceberg Theory is a Wattpad Featured story. Would you say that learning it was going to be featured was your most memorable moment on Wattpad? If not, what has been?
It was indeed one of the most memorable moments. It felt as if someone was finally validating my work. And, of course, the level of exposition it gets allows it to have a wider reach and a higher number of readers these days.
But there’s always a sort of bitter-sweet taste associated with it too. It won’t ever reach those amazing numbers some authors get, and I guess I won’t ever know if it’s because it’s not good enough or if it’s because it’s meant for a more adult audience who, according to my perception, are not the largest slice in Wattpad’s demography pie chart…
Other memorable moments happened within the LOL+35 group. There was this day I was struggling so hard to write my very first sort of steamy scene, that I asked the gals how they had dealt with it. Everyone cheered me up, some letting me know that they hadn’t done it yet either and that, sure, they would feel uncomfortable too; others gave me some helpful advice, and someone reminded me that I should definitely avoid what is often done in other books: things that aren’t anatomically possible! That cracked us all up and when in the afternoon I announced that it was done, glasses were raised. It felt everyone was pulling for me. Awesome.
Do you have any strange writing habits (like having to wear a particular outfit when writing or circling your desk three times before sitting down to write)?
No… though I have the feeling that things flow better when I manage to start writing right in the morning, still with my pyjamas on…LOL
What advice do you have for other aspiring authors?
Read, read and then read again. There’s no other way. And if you’re not a native speaker like myself, make sure you have learnt all grammar rules, and keep studying all those idioms, idiomatic structures and phrasal verbs that sure can drive us all crazy…
What secret talents do you have?
None in particular… Well, I’m fluent in four different languages. Does that count?
What are your future plans for The Iceberg Theory? Should we expect to see it in a bookstore in the foreseeable future?
Yes, I’m still thinking about that possibility. As soon as I finish my second book, I will decide how I will do it.
And, final question. Because it’s February and the month of ‘Love’, would you say you’ve been lucky in love?
Of course I have, I’ve got a great family. We’re all loud and crazy, down-to-earth and grounded people who really appreciate each other. And we’re all visiting Paris next month! What more could a girl want? J